I Saw Myself in Her

Years ago, when autism was just beginning to unfold in our lives, I was learning to see the world differently.

More importantly…

I was learning to be Shia’s mom.

Those early years were beautiful, but they were also filled with uncertainty. I didn’t have a roadmap, and I often found myself wondering if I was doing the right things. As Shia’s differences became more noticeable, I became more aware of the people around us too.

I wondered what they were thinking.

I wondered if they were judging us.

And more times than I’d like to admit, I found myself hurrying Shia along—not because he was doing anything wrong, but because I had become more aware of everyone else’s comfort than his joy.

Little by little, though, God was changing my heart.

He was teaching me to stop measuring my son against everyone else’s expectations and simply enjoy the little boy He had entrusted to me.

One afternoon, while walking through Target, I noticed a young mom shopping with her two children.

They were laughing.

Exploring.

Stopping to look at whatever caught their attention.

They were simply being kids.

I couldn’t help but smile.

As I watched them, something inside of me softened.

There was something so freeing about watching a mom simply let her children be children.

Without even realizing it, she was becoming the kind of mom I hoped I was learning to be.

Then she looked up.

Our eyes met.

In an instant, her smile disappeared.

She gently called her children back to her side and settled them down.

My heart sank.

I knew that look.

I’d worn it myself.

In a split second, the joy of the moment had been replaced by wondering what someone else might be thinking.

I wasn’t going to let that moment be stolen from her if I could help it.

So I walked over with a smile.

“I just wanted you to know how much I enjoyed watching your children,” I said. “It made me smile to see them having so much fun together.”

She looked surprised.

Then, almost with relief, she quietly said, “I always wonder what other parents are thinking.”

I smiled because I understood.

“I have a little explorer too,” I told her. “Watching your children reminded me of him.”

You could almost see the weight lift from her shoulders.

I’ve thought about that conversation many times over the years.

She had no idea that simply being herself encouraged another mom that day.

And she’ll probably never know that the few words I shared with her were words I needed to hear too.

Sometimes God meets us in the most ordinary places.

Sometimes He uses people who have no idea they’re being used.

And sometimes, all it takes is a few genuine words to help someone return to the moment they were already enjoying.

I’ve never forgotten her.

Because years ago, in the middle of a Target aisle…

I saw myself in her.

~~~~~~~

Part of the Breadcrumbs collection by Abby Lewis—true stories that gently invite us into a different way to live.