Learning to Surf the Wave
I remember the nights when my chest felt tight and my thoughts wouldn’t quiet.
Lying awake, I whispered the same desperate prayer over and over:
“God, I just want to be steady.”
Not perfect.
Not emotionless.
Just…
Steady.
There was a time when every unexpected turn…
Every difficult conversation…
Every disappointment…
Every big decision…
Could completely knock me off my feet.
I’d overthink every possibility.
Get caught up in fear.
Carry the weight of it all.
Life feels very different now.
Not because life became easier.
Because I kept saying yes as God quietly transformed me along the way.
Do I still cry?
Absolutely.
Do I still have moments when fear tries to creep in?
Of course.
Do I still feel the full range of human emotions?
Every single one of us does.
The difference is this…
I don’t camp there anymore.
I’ve learned to surf the wave instead of fighting it.
I let it wash over me.
Around me.
And eventually…
Past me.
Years ago, the wave would have pulled me under.
Today it still comes.
But it no longer gets to keep me there.
Peace has become my compass.
When I notice I’ve drifted from it…
I know it’s time to pause.
To breathe.
To remember what’s true.
To trust again.
To surrender again.
And to return to peace.
None of that happened overnight.
Just as physical strength is built one workout at a time…
Emotional and spiritual steadiness are built one surrendered moment at a time.
One choice at a time.
One act of trust at a time.
I’m walking through another season of transition even now.
Years ago, a season like this would have consumed me.
Today…
I still feel the weight of it.
But I no longer live beneath it.
One of the greatest things I’ve learned is this:
Life doesn’t always require a tighter grip.
Sometimes it invites us to loosen our grip…
And strengthen our trust.
There is such freedom in learning to flow instead of forcing.
To surrender instead of striving.
To trust instead of trying to control every outcome.
I used to think that if something felt unfamiliar…
It meant something was wrong.
Now I wonder if the unfamiliar is often where God does His deepest work.
The Bible doesn’t tell us to be comfortable.
It calls us to be strong and courageous.
Courage isn’t the absence of uncertainty.
It’s trusting the One who is already waiting for us there.
This steadiness didn’t come because life became predictable.
It came because I learned where to anchor my heart.
And I’ve discovered that makes all the difference.
~~~~~~~
Part of the Breadcrumbs collection by Abby Lewis—true stories that leave room for God to speak.