When Peace Replaces the Wrestling

There have been seasons in my life when big decisions needed to be made.

Not just practical decisions…

Heart decisions.

The kind that require you to slow down, listen deeply, and trust God with what comes next.

If you’ve read many of my stories, you’ve probably noticed something.

I don’t always arrive at clarity quickly.

There are questions.

Stillness.

Wrestling.

Listening.

Waiting.

Not because God isn’t speaking…

But because discernment often takes time.

Years ago, I thought peace came from having a plan.

I wanted all my ducks in a row.

I wanted to know exactly what was next before I took the first step.

I wanted a backup plan.

A safety net.

Something I could hold onto.

Over the years, God has faithfully taught me that my confidence was never meant to rest in a plan.

It was always meant to rest in Him.

Little by little…

Season after season…

Transition after transition…

He’s taught me to loosen my grip on needing all the answers…

And tighten my grip on Him instead.

That doesn’t mean the emotions disappear.

They don’t.

I’ve cried.

I’ve wrestled.

I’ve questioned.

I’ve held on tighter than I should have.

I’m human.

But beneath all of those emotions…

There has always been a quiet voice gently whispering,

“Let go.

I have a plan.”

Every single time I’ve made space to become still…

To quiet the noise…

And simply listen…

That voice has been there.

Faith isn’t having every answer.

Faith is taking the next step when God makes it clear…

Even if you can’t yet see the whole path.

One of the most surprising things I’ve learned is this:

Before clarity…

Decisions often feel incredibly heavy.

You wrestle.

You wonder.

You weigh every possibility.

But when clarity comes…

Something changes.

The circumstances may still be difficult.

The road ahead may still be uncertain.

But the wrestling ends.

Because peace quietly takes its place.

Since hitting rock bottom in 2002, I’ve walked through more transitions than I can count.

Every one of them stretched me.

Every one of them asked me to loosen my grip on something familiar.

And every one has become another reminder of God’s faithfulness.

He has never asked me to see the whole path.

He’s simply asked me to trust Him with the next step.

After all these years, I’ve built enough history with Him to know His character.

I know He’s faithful.

I know He provides.

I know He guides.

I know He comforts.

I know He goes before me.

Not because someone told me He would…

But because I’ve watched Him do it.

Again.

And again.

And again.

So today…

I don’t need to know exactly what’s next.

I simply need to keep taking the next step with the One who does.

And after all these years…

That’s more than enough.

~~~~~~~

Part of the Breadcrumbs collection by Abby Lewis—true stories that leave room for God to speak.